TRAVEL: Paris, France - what to do in a weekend (for FREE!)

This was the closest I had come to almost cancelling a trip due to a few things going wrong in the days before I was due to leave, but realising that that would be a disservice not only to my loyal readers but also to myself as a budding travel aficionado, I said ‘problems be damned’ and scurried off to catch the Eurostar from London St Pancras.

The Eurostar is a fine way to travel – fairly similar to a plane in the amount of legroom you get, but with the added benefits of not needed to travel far from London as you may have to do for an airport, and that there’s no such things as baggage allowance or limits on liquids.

Plus the view is actually quite pleasant – I amused myself staring out of the window as we rushed through the British countryside to Dover, had a quick jaunt through the tunnel, and emerged in the French countryside, which looked pretty similar to where we had come from except we were now an hour later.

I arrived at night, which perhaps wasn’t the best decision to have made. Normally I’m a very confident traveller and have no problem travelling solo around so-called ‘traveller-wary’ places like Mexico (you can read about that trip here), but in the lead up to my trip I’d been told plenty about the dangers of travelling solo in Paris, let alone as a woman (no thanks to Liam Neeson’s Taken), and now with the added presence of the gilets jaunes riots that had been taking place.

Such was the case that I had turned myself into a walking Swiss Army knife – everything I needed was on my person and not in my bag, and tucked under as many layers as I could manage to deter any pickpockets who might want to take it. My first port of call was to get to my accommodation, and then hopefully the nerves would ware off by the time morning rolled around.

Due to the issues mentioned at the beginning of this blog, I’d ending up booking my accommodation that very morning (always a good idea) to stay at Le Village Montmartre hostel, about 15 minutes away from Gare du Nord. The reception seemed modern and welcoming, and it was only once you’d checked in and got your key that you opened a door to the rickety wooden staircase that looked like it had been there since the beginning of time.

In spite of appearances, it was a perfectly nice hostel. The first floor had a little terrace with a wonderful view of Sacre Coeur, and my 4-bed female dorm on the fourth floor did exactly what it said on the tin with 2 bunk beds, lockers, and even an ensuite! Who could ask for more.

I was alone for about two minutes before another girl burst into the room shouting down the phone in a language I didn’t understand and crying – having seen her down in reception, I think this was due to the accommodation and perhaps some miscommunication with whomever had booked her a hostel instead of the five-star hotel she had been expecting… She locked herself in the bathroom, still crying, and I took that as my cue to head downstairs to start planning my weekend.

Aside from my initial contact with one of my roommates, everyone else I came into contact with at the hostel was very nice. A flight attendant from Toronto offered me suggestions of what to see and do, and two Korean girls who turned out to be my other roommates invited me to share (spicy) ramen with them that evening. I can see why people choose hostels as good places to stay if you want to meet people.

The big downside of staying in a hostel is that you live on other peoples time, as I found out at 5:30 the next morning when some of my roommates got up to pack and depart. So much for a lie-in! It was soon time to carpe the diem anyway, so I headed downstairs for breakfast – a glass of orange juice; your choice of coffee, tea or chocolat chaud; a croissant; a pain au chocolat; and a piece of baguette. Not a bad selection and mine was included in the price, although I’m sure you could have found nicer French patissieres for the same price just around the corner.

And so it was time to begin Day 1 in Paris. I was disconcerted stepping outside at 8am to darkness. Had I somehow misread my watch and it was actually still the middle of the night? It turns out winter sunrises are pretty late here, so I began walking down the dark streets, shops and bars still lit up with neon lights. Using my trusty printed Google Maps (I’m a fan of going off-the-grid when travelling) I wangled my way down-city for about fifty minutes until I reached Fontain de St Michel, my meeting point for today’s tour.

Knowing that I was going to do my usual free walking tour of Paris, I decided to book a tour of Versailles with the same company. As the square in front of the fountain starting filling up with tour-goers, we split into two groups – the twenty or so Spanish speakers, and four English-speakers - a nice little tour for us then.

We began by catching the train to the end of the line, getting off at Versailles and taking a short walk to the Palace and its ornate golden gates. Here we were explained the history of Louis XIV who, along with Louis XV and Louis XVI, would be our protagonists for the day.

Whilst I was aware that my tour ticket, which I’d bought for 30 Euros, didn’t include entrance to the Palace, I had hoped it would be somewhat similar to my trip to Potsdam, just outside of Berlin (you can read about that here), where there was so much to see and do that you didn’t require going inside any of the buildings.

However, what frustrated me was that whilst marketed as a ‘Versailles Tour’ online, it is in fact a ‘Gardens of Versailles Tour’ – those two minutes outside the Palace would be all we would see of it, and the rest would be spent walking around the gardens behind it.

Yes, the gardens were nice (although I’m sure they would be more pleasant in warmer months when plants are in bloom and the statues are not covered up in bodybags), and our guide as very knowledgeable, telling us plenty about the three kings and how many of the statues in each of the ponds represented Louis XIV’s obsession with the God Apollo and being known as ‘the Sun King’; so it wasn’t a bad way to spend the time. However, buying a ticket to the Palace itself would’ve probably been a more interesting and cheaper option, so there’s that.

By 1pm, the tour was over, so I headed back to the train station. In my mind, I’d decided to take the ambitious route of catching the RER back to the Eiffel Tower and then walking along the Seine to St Michel where I would pick up the walking tour. However, this didn’t take into account that the time I arrived at the station there would be a half an hour wait until the next train when they were supposed to run every fifteen minutes max… snowglobe shopping it is then!

I returned to the train station twenty minutes later and hopped on the train. As we got closer to the Eiffel Tower stop, I kept thinking that maybe, just maybe, I might have enough time to enact my ambitious plan. In the same vein of ‘problems be damned’ that this trip would become known for, I decided to hop off and risk running the last leg if I had to.

It was totally worth it. Whilst Paris might look small on a map, it really isn’t, and walking the four RER stops between the Eiffel Tower and St Michel takes an hour, so getting this side of the city over and done with today meant that I would have more time in the next few days to do other things.

The Metro stop brought me right next to the tower, which is now significantly more heavily securitised than I was when I was last here about ten years ago. You can no longer walk under the tower without going through extensive security checks, but I got plenty of nice photos from the surrounding street. Eiffel Tower, tick!

I continued along the Seine, singing La La Land’s ‘Audition (Fools Who Dream)’ in my head and mentally crossing off each bridge as I passed them, and basically doing one of those Seine river cruises without spending a dime. There’s the Grand Palais, there’s Hotel des Invalides, there’s Musee d’Orsay and so on and so forth.

I arrived at St Michel just in time and we set off on our tour, first to Notre Dame, then Pont Neuf, the grounds of the Louvre, and finishing in the Tuileries Gardens. It doesn’t sound like much and to be honest I’d expected more, but what we did see was well-informed.

The tour not lasting as long as I’d hoped was actually a blessing in disguise as I decided I would now have enough time to visit the Louvre which I’d planned to do on Sunday morning, but was open late on Friday evenings. The best bit? I got in COMPLETELY FREE. You heard right, EU citizens between the ages of 18-25 get into the Louvre FREE! And that’s not all, you’ll be hearing more about the benefits of being 18-25 from the EU to come…

I had no plan of action, and in fact because I hadn’t needed to buy a ticket, I hadn’t been able to pick up a plan of the museum either, so I was free to happily wander. There were signs pointing towards the Mona Lisa, so I figured that was a good place to start. For those who’ve not seen the Mona Lisa IRL, she’s small and she’s crowded, but you have to see her, you know?

I continued my wandering until I picked up signs to see the Venus de Milo which frankly I’m only really familiar with from that Simpsons episode (don’t hate me, art historians!) Picking up a map in Spanish off the floor (#nolittering) I knew that I wanted to see Napoleon’s apartments as they had been recommended by today’s tour guide, so that was my next destination. These were very cool with their ornate furnishings as if palatial rooms had just been plucked up and placed inside the walls of the Louvre.

By this point I’d actually wandered through quite a lot of the gallery so decided it was time to head on my merry way. I took the long walk back to my hostel, rested my aching bones (I’d done a LOT of walking) before getting ready for that evenings entertainment.

Thankfully my destination, the Moulin Rouge, was in the same district and a mere fifteen minutes walk away. Unfortunately, this district so happens to be the red light district, which certainly was interesting to walk through at nighttime… Before long I arrived and was seated two rows away from the stage in this beautiful ballroom type place – not bad, eh? I’d arrived plenty early so whilst higher-paying guests finished their meals, we were serenaded by singers before the show began.

I’d booked this ticket being a gullible tourist and knowing little more than there had been a movie made about the Moulin Rouge (Do I remember the plot? No) and that it’s just one of the many things to do in Paris, so I didn’t really know what I’d gotten myself into…

I would like to sum up the Moulin Rouge with France’s national motto – ‘liberté (freedom), égalité (equality), fraternité (brotherhood)’. Freedom – absolutely, of the nipple. It is essentially an hour long musical (with no plot), in which most of the women seem to have forgotten their tops. My favourite review on Tripadvisor is titled ‘Disney with tatas’ and I think that does it justice.

Equality – frankly, this show could be the poster child for double standards, as about a quarter of the cast were men and yet never showed more than their hands and heads… Seems fair, right?

Brotherhood – well, I don’t really have much to say on this point so I’ll just tell you my honest opinion. I spent most of the time wondering whether or not I had accidentally taken drugs as these half naked women flounced around the stage, occasionally with tiny horses or dancing in a pool with snakes (definitely not approved by animal services), and one of the dancers accidentally overshot her cartwheel and landed smack on our table.

However, by far better than the chorus dancers were the individual acts which included a roller skating duo who flew round a small raised platform, her being flung around by leg, arm, and even neck just inches from the ground; a contortionist who could literally sit on her head; and a juggler who could juggle seven batons at once (you’ll know I’m a fan of juggling if you read my Cruise Diaries here!)

So yes, it was entertaining, and admittedly I would have been even more entertained had I not paid 112 Euros for the privilege (with that kind of money you’re just setting yourself up for disappointment), but I paid so you don’t have to. Or do, it certainly is an experience. And so to bed.

It was an early start the next morning so that I could be amongst the first in the queue for Musee d’Orsay, another museum I got into FOR FREE! I’d heard the fifth floor was the place to be, and this was actually an excellent decision as whilst everyone else started on the first floor and worked upwards, I started at the top and worked downwards, meaning that I was often the only one in each of the rooms.

This museum is really something special, and I walked through admiring the colourful impressionist paintings including a few by Monet himself. The second floor had an exhibition on father and son Pierre-Auguste Renoir and Jean Renoir; as well as some Van Gogh. I took a picture of his Portrait of an Artist, and I swear to you the eyes move… The ground floor has the long corridor of sculptures and small rooms to each side highlighting different styles which I very much enjoyed looking at. I knew this would be my favourite museum of the trip, and it remained that way.

Done by 10:30, it was time for the next museum, Musee d’Orangerie (for FREE!). This is quite a small museum, so perhaps not one that I would recommend paying entry too unless you really want to. The first floor has some of Monet’s Water Lilies stretched across vast walls; whilst downstairs had a rather creepy exhibition by Paula Rego and some permanent pieces by the likes of Cezanne and Matisse.

With that not taking long, I headed off for the quick jaunt across the Grand Palais. Or so I’d hoped. The gilets jaunes had thwarted my plans (as would come to be a theme) and the whole Place de la Concorde was cordoned off by police meaning I had to take some convoluted route across the river and back, and then get questioned by the police as to why I wanted to go to the Grand Palais!

I decided to start with the Petit Palais. This one is free to all, and I’d say is a good bet if you want to get some culture in for free as it has a good range of artworks from paintings to sculptures and furnishings. With the bar set high by Musee d’Orsay, I wasn’t too bothered with paintings that didn’t float my boat so breezed my way around and left.

Across to the Grand Palais, I was astounded that they offered no gratuite to 18-25 EU citizens, and having been so spoilt by all the other museums that let me have my culture for free, decided I couldn’t be bothered to pay, especially when each of its three exhibitions cost individually, and who’s to say if I’d like them or not?

I had great fun trying to get out of this area as it was again cordoned off by police but eventually squeezed my way out onto the Champs Elysee, aka the street to be seen on. Now if you’ve gathered anything from my travels, I like to do things on a budget, so popping into Louis Vuitton or Chanel was not really an option, and most of the shops along the street were of a similar ilk.

However, I did make an exception to visit Laduree, home of the macaron. When in Rome, right? I spent a while deliberating over which four I would spent my hard-earned cash on (yes, they really were that expensive) and opted for rose-litchi (Why? I don’t even like rose! But it was in the shape of a heart); fruit de passion (This one was yummy); fraise bonbon (Passable, a little too crunchy); and Marie Antoinette (Citrus with a rose filling. Thankfully the citrus overpowered the rose so it was nice). Thank goodness the museums were free!

My intention had been to climb the Arc de Triomphe (for FREE!) but I was thwarted once again by the gilets jaunes whose threat of protesting had shut down the monument to tourists. My loving family later sent me links to articles showing protesters being tear-gassed (not sure why, I don’t think they were being violent…) right outside so I probably left at the right time.

Next stop – Galeries Lafayette! Or not… After passing about a million police vans (they were all going in the opposite direction, that must mean I was going the right way!) I was about a hundred metres from the Galeries when people starting running in the opposite direction. Why? Yellow vests. Again. Deciding I didn’t want to get tear-gassed or batoned, I guessed it was better to head on.

I had walked about three marathons by this point but that wasn’t going to deter me so I headed down to the Ile-de-la-cite to visit Saint Chapelle (for FREE!). I walked in and there were some pretty stained glass windows – nice, I guess. Then I headed upstairs to the Upper Chapel. Oh my goodness, what a sight to see! Wall to wall of stained glass beauty, each window depicting different Bible stories. Wow wow wow. This is something special.

I headed next door to the Conciergerie aka Medieval royal palace aka Marie Antionette’s prison (for FREE!). Not too much to see here, but hey, it was free. Round the corner, you bump into Notre Dame which if you look closely you’ll see is actually imperfect – the doorways are all slightly different and one of the towers is thicker than the other. This is because only God can make perfection – interesting, huh? Being a church, this is also free to all, so I had a little wander round inside before heading round the side to see about climbing the Towers.

Turns out that you have to book a ticket so they have machines that let you pick a time to reserve – the earliest availability was thirty minutes later so I hopped across the river to Shakespeare & Co. This bookshop has become somewhat infamous because it looks like what you want a bookshop to be – windy corridors, narrow stairs, books out the wazoo.

It was pretty crowded but a nice place to rest my weary feet before I returned to the Notre Dame, and good thing I’d arrived when I did as tickets for the day were all gone by the time I got back. I had to wait in the cold for a little while as you can only go up in certain time slots. You’re taken to a gift shop/ticket booth (mine was FREE!) and then clamber up the many many steps to the top.

The view was very nice, but shrouded by anti-suicide/anti-throwing-things fences (for good reason) so I had to stick my phone through gaps to get a good photo. This is not a place for those with vertigo or claustrophobia as the spaces you have to squeeze through are far from large.

It’s also a one way system, so we had to wait a while whilst those at the upper level made their way down before we could go up to the higher level; and then wait again to come down. Nevertheless, you’re not going to get better views of Paris (no, not even from the Eiffel Tower – you want it in your photo, don’t you?) but make sure to book beforehand!

My feet had had enough and it was a real struggle to get all the way back up to Montmartre – every hotel and hostel I passed on the way seemed to be mocking me by saying ‘if you were staying here, you’d be home by now’ but eventually the sight of the Sacre Coeur welcomed me home yet again.

For my final day in Paris, I decided I’d done pretty much all I’d wanted to do. What now? My first thought was the Musee Rodin which would probably be the next one on my list, but on second thought was just too far for my little legs to manage. Instead, I decided to make use of my surroundings and walked round the back of my hostel to the Sacre Coeur.

Maybe it was because I was visiting it pretty early in the morning, but this seemed to be a less touristy destination than all the others I’d visited – perhaps because it was much farther away from everything else, or perhaps because you weren’t allowed to take photos inside. Pretty nice.

The people I’d sat next to at the Moulin Rouge had told me of a food tour they’d taken around Montmartre which had brought them to the ‘I love you’ wall. Having spent so much on the Moulin Rouge, I wasn’t willing to shell out another 90 Euros for the food tour, but I could go to the wall (for FREE!) since it was just round the corner. The words ‘I love you’ are written in many different languages, the perfect place for a quick photo stop.

As the gilets had stopped me from visiting Galeries Lafayette, I thought I might go there next. However, noticing just how many shops were closed on this Sunday morning, I wondered whether the Galeries might be shut too. As fate would have it, my handheld map had been produced by Galeries Lafayette (maybe that’s why I was so keen to go – subliminal marketing?) and handily told me they didn’t open until 11am, so I swiftly changed direction.

I headed across town to the top of the St Martin Canal, with a sub-mission in my mind to find myself a nice French crepe. Everywhere. Was. Closed. I ambled down the canal, marvelling at the fact that there were probably very few tourists around since I was so far away from the main area. Again, it looks small on the map but it’s really quite a distance, so by the time I reached the end of the canal, I was dying for a crepe.

Planned routes be damned, my crepe took priority. Google mapping ‘crepe’ (it works!) I picked one that was slightly off my route and ended up at Chez Alain Miam Miam for my crepe avec Nutella. The crepe was scalding hot and nice and light, although by the time I’d finished I felt like I never wanted to eat anything ever again.

I was now in the Marais district which was a pretty nice place to walk around, and accidentally ended up right outside Centre Pompidou. Since I really didn’t have any set plans for the day, I decided I’d go in and see if my 18-25 EU citizenship would get me in for FREE here too (it did!) and decided to check out the modern art.

I’m going to be honest – I don’t get modern art. Sure, the Picasso ones are interesting in their own right, but let me give you some examples of some of the other pieces of art in the Pompidou. 1) A white canvas. It’s a canvas, painted white. It looks like a blank canvas. Why? 2) A white canvas with a circle painted on it. Same as above. 3) A literal chair. I could tell it was an art piece because it had a ‘do not cross this line’ sticker in front of it. 4) A room of rolled up insulation with a piano inside. You get the point. Again, I went so you don’t have to. Or maybe you want to. Maybe you get modern art.

And so I trudged onwards to the other side of town to my beloved Galeries Lafayette. Honestly by this point, all I wanted the store to provide was somewhere to sit down because my three days of non-stop walking were taking their toll. But as I went up floor after floor, there was not a seat in sight. There was however a floating glass walkway hanging out beneath the centre of the dome which I of course had to go stand on, but no seats.

I could take it no longer, and knowing that I would only have to walk half an hour before I got back to the hostel (and to some form of chair) decided that that was the best course of action. A short while later, I was on my way to Gare du Nord to say goodbye to Paris, and no doubt to free entry to museums, once again.

Tips for visiting Paris: If you’re an EU citizen aged 18-25, you have literally no reason to go. My trip (in cash, not including pre-booked tickets, accommodation and travel) cost under 50 Euros. It’s a no brainer. I recommend visiting Versailles – it’s just one of those places you’re supposed to go, right? And then maybe you can tell me what it’s like and if it was better than my tour. In terms of museums and attractions (particularly if you’re a paying customer and want to pick the best), my top picks would be 1) Musee d’Orsay 2) Saint Chapelle 3) Louvre (they have eight miles of corridors, surely a good way to pass the day and get your exercise in?) Enjoy!

I hope you enjoyed today’s blog and would love to know your thoughts on my journey, as well as your own experiences of Paris! Drop me a message in the comments below or on Twitter @CiarasCountry. Thanks for reading!