Wednesday 30 January 2019

TRAVEL: The Cruise Diaries - Puerto Vallarta, Mexico

Welcome to the penultimate installment of The Cruise Diaries - make sure to read previous installments here first! Follow my journey from Fort Lauderdale, Florida, to the Caribbean Islands, through the Panama Canal, up through the countries of Central America, and finishing in San Diego, California. New installments coming every few days so make sure to stay tuned on the blog and Twitter @CiarasCountry - on with the trip!

Day 14

And so we came to our final port of call. Around nine in the morning we pulled into Puerto Vallarta in the Jalisco region of Mexico. Once the ship was cleared by port security, we were free to roam, so hopped off the ship and into the nearest shopping mall to get wifi. This was partly to send out quick Happy New Year texts to various relations around the globe, those of whom on the other side of the world would be counting down til the fireworks within the next few minutes; but also to order an Uber to take us on our way.

Three minutes later, we were picked up by Oscar who drove us about forty minutes away for the low price of about $12 - not bad! We arrived at Puerto Vallarta Zoologica which had been mentioned by the EXC guides in the talk the day before. This conservation park is particularly special as it gives you the opportunity to get up close and personal with some baby big cats, which of course I had to do! Walking into their playpen, one by one I met a 7 week old lioness, 6 week old jaguar, and two month old lion cub. I was in love. These little animals were as soft as could be and would pat my hands with their little paws whilst they sat on my lap, all while the big cat expert told me a bit about them. What an amazing experience to have!

But this wasn't even everything, and we spent the next hour or so walking around the rest of the park armed with a little bag full of corn, peanuts, pellets, bread and carrots to feed to various animals. I had flamingos munching out of my hand, monkeys and parrots daintily taking peanuts from me, threw bread into the open mouth of a hungry hippo, and got slobbered on by a giraffe wanting some carrots. I'd done a similar thing spending the day working at London Zoo, but it always is something special to do. There were plenty of animals to see including newborn peccaries and bunnies, and a lion and tiger pair who had been rescued from elsewhere but refused to be separated because of the bond they had built. What an interesting way to spend the morning.

As we'd been dropped out of the Uber zone of the town, we had to figure our own way back to decided to catch one of the local chicken buses, apparently so called because you sometimes find yourself riding with chickens. If we thought the $12 fare to get there was reasonable, the 50c fare to ride back was even more so, and gave us the chance to experience how the locals get around in these vehicles without shock systems!

The end of the line was the end of the Malecon, a boardwalk which stretches along the coast. At one end was the Playa de Muertos, a beach filled with hundreds of people taking New Years Eve off from work to enjoy the warm weather and swim in the sea. I noticed that there were a few boats pulling parasails along, so ready to embrace 2019 as the Year of Yes, I decided why the hell not.


A little while later I was strapped in a harness, given my instructions and pulled off the beach and up, up and away. What an experience. There I was a couple of hundred metres in the air, flapping my arms like a bird and looking back at all of the tiny people on the beach. Below me was endless ocean, with schools of fish creating dark visible pathways with shimmering silver at the front as they pushed forward through the surf. It was nothing but calm and bliss, even though I was supported basically by a piece of rope attached to a speedboat with a bit of canvas floating behind me.

As I neared the end of my journey, the parachute men down on the beach started waving a flag and blowing a whistle at me, which is where my training came in. Given this was not a tandem flight, I was up there on my own and so it was up to me to instigate my descent and try not to fly into the side of a building. Heaving on the parachute cords, I slowed my descent and landed safely back on the sand, a smile from ear to ear. This had been a day of wonderful experiences and we were only partway through.

Afterwards we continued our wander along the Malecon, watching children play with parasailing Spidermen which floated from tiny parachutes, and admiring the brass sculptures which line the boardwalk, from Triton and his mermaid lover to the pillow headed dreamers and the seahorse riding boy.

Puerto Vallarta has a very famous church along its seashore due to the fact that it is the only one in the world adorned with a crown - quite impressive to look at. Given all of the activity of the day, we found by this point we were fairly hungry, so asked the tourist office where would be a nice place to have coffee. We tried three different options, all of which were closed for the holiday, and ended up in... Starbucks. Whilst some might argue this is not the most traditional choice, they did have a regional menu, including a yummy three cheese panini topped with chipotle sauce.

We continued on our merry way along the Malecon and decided that as the ship was only a few miles away, we would simply walk. The light at the end of the tunnel after the long walk turned out to be Walmart, right across from the dock where we did some light shopping before returning to the ship as the sun began to set.

I raced to the theatre to catch today's movie, a Spanish English rom drama called Everybody Loves Somebody. A very enjoyable film and no doubt one that would certainly not have crossed my radar otherwise as the last time I watched a film in Spanish was whilst learning the language at school...

The film finished just in time for our late dinner in the Dining Room. As it was New Years Eve, we felt we ought to book a table which unfortunately meant not sharing with some new and interesting people. Dinner was spinach and artichoke dip (my favourite), tomato and basil bisque, chickpea and tofu fritters, and a tea-ramisu for dessert.

With no 8pm show as per usual, tonight's only entertainment, the Volendam New Year's Eve Party, was at 10pm. We received no information as to what this involved, but it turned out to be the Ocean Bar Trio playing some jazzy songs to which couples were encouraged to come up and dance, followed by a DJ, and finally a balloon drop at midnight to welcome in the New Year. Here's hoping it's a good one!

Day 15

2019 began with an extra hour in bed (yay) as the clocks went back, before my usual routine of blueberry pancakes and Stretch & Release, which was busy than usual, no doubt due to many a New Years resolution to go to the gym more having been made.

The Mexican Ambassadors had put on a special class for us up in the Crows Nest on how to make Paper Flowers, so I spent an enjoyable forty minutes or so folding and cutting tissue paper of every colour to create a little bouquet to take home - another pleasant souvenir of my time on the cruise.

In the test kitchen, Maria taught us how to make her New Italian favourites, and then it was off to the Lido deck for a live folkloric performance, this time highlighting Mexican song and dance from the region of Vera Cruz. I think these performers have it right - travel the world on an all-inclusive cruise ship while you do what you love for a job.

I headed down to the Mix bar afterwards, surprised to see how busy both the bar and the casino were at this time in the middle of the day. Alas, I was not there to drink or to gamble but to learn about my birthstone in a presentation that I can only assume is to make you want to buy your birthstone from one of the onboard shops. It was a pretty boring presentation as he went through each month one by one, so I spent most of the time watching college football on the screens above the bar - anyone fancy taking me to a game?

It was then back to the Test Kitchen for a Tapas party consisting of Spanish tortilla, garlicky prawns and sangria. This stuff sure does make you hungry! Then it was all about thirst as I headed to a talk from the Mexican ambassadors entitled 'All About Tequila'. We were talked through the whole life cycle of tequila, its differences to mezcal, and why you should never drink it with salt and lime. It's a very long and complex process to end up with a bottle of tequila, so think about that next time you're taking a shot!

I spent the next while packing (boo) as we were rapidly approaching the end of our trip - how time flies - before heading to Total Body Conditioning and a dinner of breaded mushrooms, sun choke soup, cheese ravioli and coconut & lime soufflé. That evening was the last of the Volendam Singers and Dancers shows, this time entitled Classique to show how classical music has inspired artists of all generations. We had songs by Coldplay and Queen, dances to medieval church music, and a tribute to Celtic music in the form of a mashup of Danny Boy and Westlife's You Raise Me Up, followed by some Riverdance. I'll miss seeing these performers every few days, and look forward to seeing how the entertainment compares on my next cruise.

Day 16

The ship appeared to have been invaded overnight by hundreds of towel animals who adorned every spare space of the Lido deck when I went up there for breakfast. Monkeys hanging from the ceiling, elephants, swans, frogs, you name it, they were all there. In my humble opinion, towel animals are one of the best parts of any good accommodation, and a skill I'm much in need of learning.

I had my last Stretch & Release session, preparing my body to go back to its usual inflexible state before going up to the Crows Nest for another Mexican encounter, this time showing us how to make traditional Papel Picado banners. There's something about spending an hour crafting and cutting out shapes from tissue paper that is remarkably relaxing - how is it that there's no time to do such a thing at home? ?

Afterwards I had the choice of going to the follow up Oprah's Reading Room book club session on An American Marriage (decent book, well written, give it a read) or attending a port talk on San Diego. Whilst books are very dear to my heart, they're narrowly beaten out by travel, so I had to go for the latter to see what awaited us the following day, even if we weren't staying there for half as long as I would have liked.

In the afternoon we had yet another Mexican Folkloric performance, this time from the region of Jalisco from which we had just come. I thought this was a great way to help people keep in mind relatively where we were as we cruised along the Baja California peninsula, and give us an opportunity to see traditional song and dance from the region that we simply wouldn't have had time to see while we were in port.

As we were travelling up towards the Southern United States, our last America's Test Kitchen demonstration was on Southern Snacking, featuring buttermilk biscuits, pimento cheese, fried pickles and homemade ranch dressing. I wish my blog had been in existence when I visited the Southern US a few years ago as the comfort food they have there can be utterly fantastic (even if they don't cater very well for vegetarians!)

For the last day of our cruise, we had a bit of a treat in the form of an hour long Q&A with Captain Chris Turner, in which the mic was handed over to the audience to ask whatever personal or professional questions they might like. Of course there were questions on the engineering aspects of the ship, how they deal with sewage, whether crew can bring guests on board free of charge (they can if they stay in the same room, otherwise they have to pay full rate); but there were also a few more pointed questions about why the air conditioning on the ship was so cold (I was wearing my coat at this point), and why the staff 'were cleaning the deck outside my room at 4:10 in the morning.' Not really questions I'm sure the Captain is most culpable for, but they need someone to blame!

We had another lecture from the Mexican ambassadors, this one on Mexico's Fire, Ice & Quakes. Some of you may not know this, but I majored in Geography at university, so this was actually quite helpful to refresh my memory on convergent, divergent, and transform boundaries which result in movement between plates and subsequent seismic activity; Mexico's location on the Ring of Fire; as well as teach me new things specific to Mexico rather than the general worldwide knowledge of my degree.

For instance, one of the worst earthquakes in Mexico City's history occurred on September 19th 1985. Subsequently earthquake drills are undertaken on this date every year so the population knows what to do should one occur. However, a large magnitude earthquake did actually occur on September 19th 2017 with none of the intended forewarning, wreaking havoc in the city and resulting in lives lost. We were shown harrowing footage of the event, and told why Mexico City was so at risk to seismic activity due to its location on a dried up lake bed which was previously the site of the ancient city of Tenochtitlan.

It seemed to be a day of Q&As as our talk on Mexico was followed by a Q&A with the singers and dancers of the Volendam. We got to ask them questions about their audition process, their contracts, where they practice (Long Island, New York - not a bad place to go to practice!), and how they change costumes so quickly. This was followed by a rare insight into behind the scenes of the Mainstage as we were taken backstage into the tiny dressing room to see what few people aside from the performers would usually see. Quite interesting, and a very interesting career choice that I think would be a great option for any aspiring singers or dancers.

And so the afternoon passed with the sad reality of packing before we headed off to dinner. That evening we were seated with an interesting couple, the wife being an ex-professional racecar driver who now competes at national archery competitions (clearly a woman of many talents), and the husband being an inspirational children's tennis coach. It doesn't get more eclectic than that! Dinner was a crispy noodle salad, tomato and fennel soup, baked cheese polenta, and mango and blueberry crisp; which had just arrived before I rushed off to see the final show of the cruise.

Holland America has an online app that allows you to see what is occurring each day on the ship, so I knew we were originally supposed to have a different variety show that evening but as things panned out, comedian Andrew Kennedy and magician RanD Shine shared the stage. As I assume they were only originally booked for one show, this one was considerably less planned. Andrew seemed to just point at people in the audience and make jokes about whatever they said ('Kids, am I right? Let's try and make a joke out of that') so I have to say I didn't find that terribly amusing.

RanD was better, putting a deflated balloon into a paper bag, smashing the paper bag to pull out a tiny balloon dog; guessing three audience members cards from a deck he didn't touch; and showing us a bag with a beer bottle and beer can inside, taking the can out and then crumpling up the bag to show that the bottle had been an illusion all along. Magic! Alas, it was then time for my final night aboard Volendam, ready for the last day of our journey.

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